I recently had the opportunity to meet with representatives of The Center for Violence Prevention located in the Jackson, MS area. This Center is a non profit organization dedicated to assisting victims of domestic abuse. They also offer counseling to perpetrators of abuse. Part of our discussion dealt with why victims of abuse simply don’t leave. This is a complicated issue. One reasonable explanation of course is that the perpetrator makes the victim fear that leaving is more dangerous than staying. The counselors informed me that the average victim attempts to leave seven times before finally completing the act of separation. This means victims are often caught in this cycle for very long periods of time. Listed below are some characteristics of abusers:
Extreme Jealousy
Controlling behavior
Unpredictable behavior
Unrealistic Expectations
Isolates the victim
Blames others
Minimizes or denies abuse
Cruelty to children or animals
Uses force during sex
Verbally Abusive
Sudden mood swings
Past history of battering
Threats of violence
Breaks or strikes objects
My professional experience is that the abusive personality is often concealed from outsiders by a charismatic personality. Abusers are manipulators and they can change their personality at will.